LESS or NOTHING...???

Assalamualaikum w.b.t...

i dont even know if everyone agree with me that,

 less is better than nothing...

but... i am pretty sure that all agree...hahahahha

someone often scold me whenever i am not getting all his lessons, he called me lazy fellow...and other words that could demotivate me as human being...

it is inappropriate to say those words here because i respect him as older...

but everytime he says those demotivated words, i will say,

less is better than nothing...

then i laugh with full mighty hahahahaha...

actually i felt that he is expecting me to know of what he knows.. how can that be possible??? who is him and who am i???

we are like the sky and the earth so he shouldn't expected much from me...

pyramid was not build within a day...

so am i...everytime with him, i felt bored and want to take thousand steps away from him...i couldn't keep stand to hear the demotivated words to me...

when i am alone, i think i understand his purposes for doing so...i think he keeps condemning me so that i would improve my efforts and improves my learning...

yeah but still....

i dont understand him...and i dont want to understand him...i never understand him...

i had sweet and sour experience during my primary school days...still remember that time i got D in mathematics midyear exam (before UPSR trial) even i am in first class...!

so embarrassing...!

its not just that...when teacher are doing the post-mortem, i was his target...!!

his words still stick in my mind, never forget it till i die,

"awak rasa awak layak ke duduk dalam kelas pertama dengan gred matematik D....???macam ni nak ambik UPSR???saya tak peduli siapa bapak awak tapi awak tak layak duduk dalam kelas ni..."

yeah he didnt mentioned my name..but...

that was me...!!he knew my dad....

ahh i felt like such big stone dropped on my head but i didnt die...!

felt like i'd been shot, but i didnt die...!

felt like going to cry but i cant...!

even at that critical time, i couldnt cry...because i am not type of girl that can easily crying even i was badly hurt...only i know why i am crying and when i will cry...

so hurting....no words could express them...

i know that was my fault...i never blamed him for humiliating me in front of my friends...but i thanked him for responsible producing today i am...

because of him i got A in mathematics UPSR...

because of him i got A1 in mathematics SPM...

terima kasih banyak cikgu...!!

but...

till today i hate mathematics like crazy...!!!

hahahahahha

still remember my mathematics' result during my form 4 never been wrote in blue pen...!hahahahaha

but because of my teacher words when i am year 6, boost up my intrinsic motivation to keep learning mathematics in form 5 until i mastered it...

the result tadaaa...!! hahahahha

but...

now if someone asking me how to solve SPM mathematics problems i couldnt do it...!!forgot them already...hahahahha

i never regret for forgetting all mathematics lesson because why i must force myself to like my hatred...??

no need right...??so dont worry, be happy....!

hahahahhaha

until today everytime lecturer gives mathematics questions to solve, i will just playing with my pen on the paper while waiting for my friends to answer the questions...

then...i copy them...!

hehehehe

luck seems to be on my side because my mathematics projects for this semester almost all in group work....just 2 tasks of them are individual but it didnt need any calculations...

huh im relieved....!!

i dont know why but everytime i see numbers, they will floating on the air and drop on my face...!!

it is unconscious....

hahahahahahha

sorry for all mathematics fans, but i dont like mathematics...(more proper)

hehehehehe

after blabbering all those, i come to a conclusion that human could do best if they give their best though they dont like it....

but sincerity is the best point here...

whatever things that we do it with sincerity, the best outcome will come out....

and when we see the outcome...then hate it will be okey....

hehehehhe

human learns best through experience...in my 20 years living on this blessful world, i got gifts from Allah...

Allah is my best decisioner...

because of His blessed, i still be able to breath in His earth...

Alhamdulillah....

there are three most beloved persons Allah gave me to take care of me in this world...

i love them so so so so muchhh....

i couldnt deny that i will cry someday when Allah takes these persons from me...

but they belong to Him...Allah has the right to do so...

who am i to deny His faith...

but....everyday i keep pray that Allah will give me some time to repay their kindness to me...

i learn many things from them...

how i overcome my sadness...

how i overcome my temper...

how i overcome my tears...

how i overcome my depression...

how i overcome my anxiety...

it is true that experiences are the best teacher...

but still....

there is no other best teacher except al-Quran and Syahadah is the most beautiful words in world....

"AKU BERSAKSI BAHAWASANYA TIADA TUHAN YANG LAYAK DISEMBAH MELAINKAN ALLAH, DAN NABI MUHAMMAD ITU PESURUH ALLAH"

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